Why you are #failing at  social media (and how to fix it)





Can I tell you something that NO ONE else has been willing to tell you about social media?


There’s a reason you’re not killing it … and it’s not the algorithm’s fault. It’s likely yours.

I mean, nobody gets how social works EXACTLY, but you’re having a harder time than most, right? Yeah, you’re not alone in that. For real. Everybody’s struggling. Social became this thing we “had to do” overnight and it didn’t go away no matter how hard we shut our eyes.


If you’re a woman over 30 running a business, the social shift was especially difficult. Because the world sucks, everything written about social media says you should “man up” (kay, thanks guys), or “be authentic” (ummm.. . what?). And nobody told you HOW in the world to do that.

Authentic is a pretty terrible word, right? Just so you know, everybody hates it and nobody knows what it means. Just be yourself. M’kay. Which self?

So, let’s start there. It’s safe to say that it’s probably NOT the self your gut initially tells you to put on your business page in short-lived social media snippets. Because that self … she’s almost always wearing a boring blue virtual business suit from the 90s and an inexplicably awkward smile.

Yeah, you know what I’m talking about. She’s faux-polished and putting on a little more “professionalism” than any of her friends would ever attribute to the person they know, love, and drink wine with. That “public” self hasn’t just been cleaned up a little; she’s been cleansed. Lysol-sterilized to a point that no one could ever take issue with.



And that right there - making your brand church- and grandma- perfect - that’s where you took a wrong turn. It’s when you gave up and just started posting pictures of  ladies on beaches with outstretched arms and quotes from Winston Churchill and Oprah.

That’s the moment you broke the  ONLY rule there really is on social  media:

Don’t Bore Me!

So, how do you cut through the noise, catch up, and find a way to be relevant and not-boring? You do what no other business is doing there. You tell the TRUTH.

You chill with the polished, clean-desk, perfect life, photoshopped version of you and the story about what you’re “supposed” to be …. And you just do you TO THE MAX. Which, yes, might seem as complicated and vague as someone telling you to be “authentic.”

BUT it’s really not.

It’s WAY scarier than that.

Did NOT see that coming, did ya’? Yeah, I know. That’s the power of shooting from the hip.

When we put ourselves online, it’s scary. And EVERYTHING we’ve been taught kicks into high gear. Oh, you know what I mean. It takes different forms for each of us, but we all know the script, don’t we?

Be nice. Be humble. Don’t expect too much. You’re too aggressive. Don’t brag. Don’t stand out. Don’t make  ripples. Be sweet. “People” don’t like it when you’re too smart.

I hear a version of that messed up song in my head every day. Many of you do, too. But it’s not one I’ve taught my daughters. And it’s not one I sing online.

And it takes effort. We CAN replace that insanely outdated refrain. You CAN replace with something that is yours.

You are funny. You are different. You are loud. You are quiet. You dress up as Harry Potter on Fridays. You own a socially-unacceptable number of cats. You can’t cook (okay, that one’s me). You ski like a boss. You geek out on math. You paint. You work. You stay up until the work is done. Because you care that much.

Whatever is the part of you that you can push yourself just a little past your limits to share, I want you to share it.

I may not know what “authentic” could possibly mean, but I know that if you want to speak to your people online in a way that matters, you’re going to have to share some part of yourself that means something to them … and to you.

I call it “taking off the virtual business suit.” What HAPPENS when you really look at your social media and start posting what YOU would want to see? What happens when stop whining, complaining, preaching? What happens when you stop hiding, excusing, apologizing?

What could happen if you started telling the truth?

I can tell you that very few people do it. And that EVERYONE responds to it.

Try it for 7 days.. I dare you.




Cut-up. Mother of Two. CrossFitter. Wine lover. Word Geek. That Smarty Pants PhD Friend You Keep On Speed Dial. FB Ads Specialist Lara distills the ocean of social media marketing into perfect, high-octane shots of goodness for your business. In English. So you can be human online. Every day. Speak Human, Win The Internet.